Thinking back, I feel my mother's aunt has been submissive and meek to allow the other woman enter her married life. well my husbands lil fling just dont get the hint and it was over a year ago and she still is sending him texts. After the death of her husband and lab partner Pierre, Marie Curie embarked on an affair with young scientist Paul Langevin — until his wife paid a burglar to steal Curie's letters to Langevin from the pair's love nest. Conway and four young children including twins. This has very important consequences. Review: I decided to read this book because the title caught my eye, as did the fact that it was written by a man. Essentially, you are caught up in a love triangle. I want a divorce but my husband won't leave the home. I was his 3rd wife and we were married by a JP in a small ceremony at our home. The laws in Britain were based on the idea that women would get married and that their husbands would take care of them. In their new book, Every Woman’s Marriage, Shannon and her husband Greg discuss the common problems that cause husbands to grow cold in a marriage. She later told me that she had food poisoning and she is very sick. She had two children to her first husband, who walked out on her after the birth of their second child. “I’m a 30-year-old single male and I have been having an affair with a married woman, aged 32. You should also check out my free ebook, 9 Essential Traits of a Good Husband by scrolling up this page and looking to your right. The more intimacy your husband gets from home, the less likely he will look for it outside the home. 1 John 2:4 - He that saith, I know him,. This woman does not love her husband or respect her husband. Tell her that she can't just love two men, and that she has to choose, if she loves her husband respect that and leave her alone quitely, but if she loves you tell her to split up with her husband, but tell her to tell him that she cheated on him, b/c otherwise it is just plain rude, disgusting, and heartless. My husband has told women the exact same things that I was told by the married. Married with Courageous Husband: Divorce Rumors? Many might know that Cecilia Vega is a married woman. Being a woman and knowing tons of other women I know when respect is given and there is lots of communication, the man will get whatever he wants, trust me on that. He said she was funny, smart, and ballsy. Getting Through to a Selfish Husband I am married for 18 years, and I think my husband is terribly selfish and acts like a spoiled child. I was his 3rd wife and we were married by a JP in a small ceremony at our home. Support help line: 1-866-760-2623. Using a dry erase marker (or even lipstick!), leave a love note on your honey’s bathroom mirror. Now, I doubt it. Why Women Still Can’t Have It All It’s time to stop fooling ourselves, says a woman who left a position of power: the women who have managed to be both mothers and top professionals are. And once you are married to one they will divorce the man as soon as the relationship gets boring to her and take all of his money, leaving the once successful american man a bold haired alcoholic. She may ask you to pass her her bag or move around you to get her bag. The show gave a national award to heroic. be polite but cut ties. Ask the tough questions in our unique cheating spouse forum to others that may have already went what you are about to confront. The wife is to submit to the authority of her husband and the husband is to love his wife as his own body: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. A Twentieth Dynasty woman, having adopted the three children of her female slave, accepted her younger brother as husband of one of those offspring. This woman mentioned that her ex-husband used to tell her. Instinctively, he knows that the divorce process will be hell. He's never going to leave his wife for you, his mistress. Is that wrong? "He told me they are just friends, but he has been leaving me to go hang out with her," she frets. If you are ready to get these women out of your life so that you can form healthier relationships with other women, then following are some tips to help you do so. Get your shit together, walk away and NEVER again allow yourself to be so stupid as to believe what a MARRIED man tells you. Married Woman Cheating: Thoughts from a Woman Who Did Two years ago, if you had asked me if I would ever cheat on my husband, I would have been very comfortable saying that I absolutely would not. She explains what she sees and what shes thinking believing he’s (the black man) seeing and thinking the same thing. already done dating a married girl. They married in 2001. Even initiate sex once in a while. Support help line: 1-866-760-2623. She can make you more feminine (perhaps by telling you to dress like a woman) and have boyfriends who she chats to online. Finally at the end of 2011 and after 17 years of marriage she had a secret affair. The type of assistance you can receive and the requirements may vary, depending on the organization. worry about why you put up with it. ” Debbie was someone with whom I had a very strong coach-client relationship, so I really pushed to get at what was going on behind the scenes, deep within her subconscious mind. But if you’re dating a married woman and want to know you’re moving toward a marriage of your own, keep an eye out for cues that she isn’t willing to leave the life she already has. Then, you can run phone and text game. In order to maintain your maiden name professionally, you'll have to work out an accommodation where they file using your married name while continuing to use your maiden name for everything else. sure, she was screwed up for a while, but she finally left her drug dealer. Maybe for financial reasons, you are. Discussion in ' Teh Vestibule (archive) ' started by jefframsaroop , Sep 3, 2010. How do you leave an unhappy marriage or bad relationship when you have no money? These tips may not miraculously help you get money to leave your husband, but they'll show you that you're not alone. For women, it's more about the level of satisfaction in her relationship; if a woman is unhappy in her marriage, she's 2. A lot of the women Walker interviewed said that when they talked openly about their fantasies or desires to their husbands, they were met with disgust and made to feel ashamed. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. Is it her, or the illicitness of the situation? I think I’m addicted to it. "I'm a 30-year-old single male and I have been having an affair with a married woman, aged 32. ” In fact, you have your whole life to get a career. According to experts, such vacations are beneficial for a relationship. I guarantee you, she's not going to leave her husband - not if she wants to be away from him under her terms. You are married to a man and realize that you are attracted to women. 2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead,she is loosed from, the law of her husband. Divorcing a cheating husband and knowing when the time is right to move on is important when you have had enough of the affairs. How To Save Your Marriage On Your Own. Now let's figure out how to tell your husband. As of 1887, one-third of the states had not provided statutory protection for a married women to control her earnings. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. However, who she is married to and why she is proud of her husband, is what this is all about. Before the passing of the 1887 Married Woman’s Property Act, when a woman got married she could not own property, even inherited property, and her wealth was automatically passed to her husband. how to get a girl to leave my married man alone? ok me and my husband had a little depart for about a year and seperated well i met someone and hea met someone but we then came together again and relized what we left and that we r great together and have a great relationship now. If there's a woman you genuinely love and care about, you may be eager for her to reciprocate your feelings. , in “Dating a Married Man: for PsychCentral. I have a dear friend whose husband blindsided her, and left her for another woman who he married two minutes after the divorce was final. The fact [is] that I think you may be cheating. Married with Courageous Husband: Divorce Rumors? Many might know that Cecilia Vega is a married woman. The more valuable you become for your husband, the less likely he will want to divorce you and the more likely he will return. Joanna Gaines is a well-known journalist widely popular as the host of HGTV's Fixer Upper alongside her husband, Chip Gaines. It,s a lot of work ,for both ,and. One of the most common questions I get is, "Should I leave my husband?" These signs for women considering divorce may help you decide if you should stay married or run for the hills. Then her husband, while still kissing her, started to finger me. Thai women married to Western men who don't have kids yet lay about the house all day doing precious little are the absolute scorn of expat society. I love my husband so much, I could never do that. Should I wait for her to leave her husband - Answered by a verified Counselor We use cookies to give you the best possible experience on our website. In fact, that is why many a woman will take out a restraining order against her husband or forbid him from contacting her. it was the worst experience in my life i will want to say this to other guys a girl who isn't leaving her husband after dating you for months will never leave her husband for you. I am not sure that. I work here in CT and she works in NY State. Rukundo had met her husband 11 years didn’t believe in killing women, and they knew her brother. Occasionally when I don't. They are willing to walk out of a marriage if they are not treated equally and with respect. But the problem we are facing is insecure man, he also does not know how to treat a woman. Hey If they man wanted sex and I didn't I would tell him to get a girlie friend on the side. How to Get a Man to Leave His Wife. If you live in certain U. For the marriage to last, a woman has to continue to be the same person he married, despite her hormones changes after childbirth. By getting the tips from experts, you will be more confident to approach a woman for sleeping with you. Dan is married to the woman of his dreams and has been helping new men succeed with women for more than 14 years. Are Your Kids a Reason to Stay Married? The decision about whether to stay in or leave your relationship is important. How can I get him to leave? I want a divorce but my husband won't leave the home. Divorces are much more common in the front end of marriage, and the longer you stay married, the less likely it is you will get divorced. if a woman wants to re-marry her ex-husband, she must marry another. Women of today are completely broad minded. Again, divorce itself is not the will of God. I had to get off her story and quickly move on. If he does pack his bags and file for divorce, you will have bitter stepchildren to deal with, advises family therapist Dr. Kellyanne Conway married life. As of 1887, one-third of the states had not provided statutory protection for a married women to control her earnings. The gift is suitable for married ladies that already own lingerie. A wife’s role is to be her husband’s helper (Genesis 2:18). In my heart, I’ve blamed myself all along, yet I cannot give it up. If you have time and if you are naive enough to "trust" a married woman who steps out of her "marriage promises", then do not change anything in what yo. So, the statistics show that if the other woman refuses to leave, you can ‘wait it out’. You do not want to be a starter husband or be with a woman who would use this appalling phrase. We have a great son, 4 and a bad life. My husband cheated with a married woman and father a child with her. The only proof that will absolve the woman and get her treated favorably is one of three; proof that the husband is a drug addict, has AIDS or being a daughter of a. Apart from commitment which men hate anyway, men get everything from a married woman. Just to know that their action brings harm to others "gets them off. You can’t be married to two people at the same time. How to Leave a Relationship Emotionally-But Stay 25 year old married woman with two children and my husband uses this tactic on me and it's damaging I like you have been scarred for life I. 12 Things Married Women Do But Will Never Admit To. If something lacy, red and sexy appears all of the sudden among her cotton panties, chances are that she’ll have a difficult time explaining the change in taste to her husband. This could lead to constant anxiety, disappointment, anger and the sense of feeling used. Then what follows is probably a combination of anger, grief, and panic at what might lay ahead. It's a standard answer for men and women who have a sexual partner outside of their marriages. Not to mention, of. I kicked the second one out after he had the gall to go on several all night party binges with his friends while leaving his family financially destitute, draining our savings and our. Aug 01, 2018 · Case in point: How can this woman, whom you refer to as a soul mate and whom you say you love with all your heart, also be using you to get back at her husband and want to have her cake and eat it. She was not herself. Woman’s Own, May, 2000, Vol. Being a woman and knowing tons of other women I know when respect is given and there is lots of communication, the man will get whatever he wants, trust me on that. Her intrusion into your life makes it impossible for healing to take place because you do not have the safety of knowing that the affair is totally finished. I keep hoping things will get better, that he will genuinely learn to care. Life throws you a curve ball every once in awhile, she had an accident, lost most of her intestines, etc…She is on disability she can’t work, she can only get a grand a month. The leaving might be imperfect, and the unity, being one can fail, but if you do not cling to each other in troth, your marriage will inevitably be doomed. Some experts aren’t surprised that more women are cheating. By continuing to use this site you consent to the use of cookies on your device as described in our cookie policy unless you have disabled them. How to Leave a Relationship Emotionally-But Stay 25 year old married woman with two children and my husband uses this tactic on me and it's damaging I like you have been scarred for life I. In this Marriage Builders® site, you will be introduced to some of the best ways to overcome marital conflicts and some of the quickest ways to restore love. 1 Of course, many religious conservatives argue that all people should have just one sex partner over the course of their lives: their spouse. She wouldn't. Alienation campaigns are nearly always used against the man when the couple has children together. Whether your husband is a jerk or he’s the sweetest man on Earth – YOU still have the responsibility to be the wife God created you to be. You're are right on point!! The only people saying that he won't leave are bitter wives & people who weren't successful in getting a married man to leave. In most states, the woman can give out sex to everyone but her husband, and on divorce the husband is supposed to be her ATM forever. stability for your wives you may leave an open door for Mr. According to a 2012 study published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 41 percent of marriages in the U. ” Ephesians 5:28 exhorts husbands to love their wives as their own bodies, nourishing and cherishing them. Don't see her, don't be her friend. Sarah and her husband, Brad, knew that she had endometriosis when they began talking about starting a family right after getting married in 2009—but they were hopeful anyway. You can save your marriage even if you are the only one willing to work on it. A Wife’s Prayer For Her Husband. Fair or not, women and their children are statistically poorer after divorce than when the woman is married. As hard as this may be personally the answer from the Bible is very clear. I've been married for several years and my wife's ability to seduce or romance me sucks! I hate the fact that the only time we have sex is. When he leaves his wife and kids for the other woman. She cannot leave her husband because of money and kids aged 9 and 12. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. If you want to know how to seduce a man, get this right and you’d leave the guy you want to seduce with a heart full of love and a trouser that’s stretching on a hard on!. Sometimes I feel that she knows, especially when our eyes meet. Her husband moved back to look after her and she cannot talk. Pray for breakthroughs in my finances, relationships, and every area of my life. 5 It's Better to Leave Before Anyone Gets Hurt. If you, your marriage and your sex life are to survive this juncture, it is critical that you seek to redefine your marriage. 'He doesn't understand how I feel after his affair. It isn’t that a robust sex life is any guarantee against infidelity, but a wife that has little interest in sex can leave a man looking for a substitute. When Emily Ross* married her husband, Brian, 18 years ago, she told him she'd leave him if he ever cheated. He said she was funny, smart, and ballsy. "The problem is that that's the moment where every woman has to look at her husband and say, simply, 'Look. the specimen verification certificate- should it contain the name of husband as the resident proof is her fathers house??. In order to maintain your maiden name professionally, you'll have to work out an accommodation where they file using your married name while continuing to use your maiden name for everything else. Also, the number of years the couple must be married for the divorced spouse to qualify for benefits. Ive been married 6months. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Saviour of the body. He’s married, you haven’t met his wife…that to me is sign enough to stay away but he’s screwing you in the bathroom for God’s sake!. ” In fact, you have your whole life to get a career. Clearly remarriage is not a scriptural alternative. Single Women. His wife received a sort of BPD diagnosis from a former therapist. You're are right on point!! The only people saying that he won't leave are bitter wives & people who weren't successful in getting a married man to leave. 'It’s my turn to sacrifice. He might get afraid of being emotionally hurt, jealousy, he will start seeing other women, etc. As of 1887, one-third of the states had not provided statutory protection for a married women to control her earnings. I won't kid you getting involved with a married woman is no joke. Married women who are raped do not feel like they are making love. she is hot and curvy, she seem to like me but afraid to do anything because of her marriage, she holds herself back How to make her come to me, i have been seducing her for few months. Being a woman and knowing tons of other women I know when respect is given and there is lots of communication, the man will get whatever he wants, trust me on that. he has a few in the house every night and more in secret outside when he goes for a cigarette. She had two children to her first husband, who walked out on her after the birth of their second child. I've been dating my girlfriend for about a year, she is married and has 2 children under 6. You can apply for a British passport right now. Then, you can run phone and text game. If you are in need of financial help, assistance is available. Well, have you noticed him growing apart from you physically as well as emotionally? Now there is hardly any physical contact, leave alone hot, stimulating sex. makes babies. Kay replied, “That sounds a lot like getting married. But, whether you are ready to walk away and start again or not, help and support can be found. How can I get him to leave? I want a divorce but my husband won't leave the home. Last year, a college student came to our office. Then later on in life he marries the other woman because she force him to then she has millions of kids to try and trap him A man will always LOVE his 1st wife no matter how many times he get married to other women. Even if a wife has access to some money for her living expenses, it may be difficult for her to come up with the large amount of money needed to hire a divorce attorney. It is time for VKool. God is just as disgusted by a woman refusing to have regular sexual relations with her husband as he is with a woman who is married and has sex with other men. 'It is my fate' she used to tell my mother. If you are happy being with a woman who is married, then by all means continue the relationship. If you want to know how to seduce a man, get this right and you’d leave the guy you want to seduce with a heart full of love and a trouser that’s stretching on a hard on!. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. He won't let me wear bras and orders me to be naked when he comes home from work and has made me undress in front of hotel windows when we go on vacation. At the same time, I don’t feel that physical connection with him anymore. even though her mother's late husband wanted to. For example, she may find that he has turned lazy and fat. For the marriage to last, a woman has to continue to be the same person he married, despite her hormones changes after childbirth. My name is Jennifer and I began this BLOG to share my journey as a wife to encourage other women in the world who are, have. it was the worst experience in my life i will want to say this to other guys a girl who isn't leaving her husband after dating you for months will never leave her husband for you. Kristin said her husband was open to letting another woman into their life, but no men, and that wasn't enough for her. You do not want to be a starter husband or be with a woman who would use this appalling phrase. Still, women attach themselves to married men, forming relationships that are doomed to fail. ) Oh yes, and he also mentioned that they'd neglected to use any birth control whatsoever, either of them. Remember this, stupid head, if you can get her to leave him, someone else can get her to leave your ignorant butt too. Get your shit together, walk away and NEVER again allow yourself to be so stupid as to believe what a MARRIED man tells you. Top 10 Films Where Women Take Revenge On Men. Ephesians 5:33, "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Every married woman is hereby constituted and declared to be the joint guardian of her children, with her husband, with equal powers, rights and duties in regard to them, with the husband. I tried to stop, but I guess not hard enough. Then later on in life he marries the other woman because she force him to then she has millions of kids to try and trap him A man will always LOVE his 1st wife no matter how many times he get married to other women. In this video, I'll show you how to make a married woman fall in love with you in two simple steps. This married woman is deceiving her husband, leaving her kid alone A LOT to get some nookie with a younger guy AND is depriving her lover of a normal family life by tying him up when she has no intention of ever leaving her husband. I'm married and having a relationship with a married woman. ~Gloria Steinem [W]hen you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. He’s married, you haven’t met his wife…that to me is sign enough to stay away but he’s screwing you in the bathroom for God’s sake!. This means that a little more than one third of the 62,827,000 women in the United States are getting along without steady male companionship. At one point, I thought things would get better between the three of us (my husband, his baby mama and I). I guarantee you, she's not going to leave her husband - not if she wants to be away from him under her terms. Instinctively, he knows that the divorce process will be hell. The appeal of a married woman is very understandable. He's never going to leave his wife for you, his mistress. Check out more about Julie Banderas husband, divorce, fired and demoted. You probably hope that your man will leave his wife for you, even though it's unlikely that will happen. Confronting your husband about his affair is an extremely difficult first step, but it is absolutely necessary to do this if he has not come clean of his own volition. Why Women Leave Their Husbands. My husband cheated with a married woman and father a child with her. They see no reason or point in suppressing their natural inclinations, whatever they might be. So, before I get one more letter, pouring out your sorrow, here's my advice on protecting your husband from other women. When he leaves his wife and kids for the other woman. This woman might should try her hand at writing one of those paperback love stories. In God's ideal world a woman would get many of her needs for intimacy, protection, challenge, and love met by her husband. In the mean time, focus on your wife. As mentioned in earlier comments,if you are having a lenghty period,. She is the one who gave up on her dream for her marriage in August of this year. I get oral sex whenever I ask. Also, the number of years the couple must be married for the divorced spouse to qualify for benefits. But, if all you have is good bootie & nothing more to offer probably not. In order to maintain your maiden name professionally, you'll have to work out an accommodation where they file using your married name while continuing to use your maiden name for everything else. Some marriages can recover from an affair, but many will end in divorce. Of course, the Supreme Court said, had Maria opted to use her maiden name in her passport at the very start, she would be allowed to do so pursuant to Article 370 of the Civil Code, Thus, after getting married to Juan Crisostomo, Maria could have asked the DFA to issue her a passport under her maiden name Maria Reyes. I'd leave my wife for her but can't persuade her to leave the good for nothing slob. The journalist is married to Ricardo. I had an affair with a woman from work. It isn’t that a robust sex life is any guarantee against infidelity, but a wife that has little interest in sex can leave a man looking for a substitute. How to Get the Husband You're Divorcing Out of the House by Beverly Bird When you said for better or worse, someone may have forgotten to mention that the worst part could last a long time after you've decided your marriage isn't working. The married women nodded in agreement with this one. I'll trust you at your word. Confronting your husband about his affair is an extremely difficult first step, but it is absolutely necessary to do this if he has not come clean of his own volition. We were friends first and then our friendship got to close and we crossed the line. A married woman's right to contract with a publisher and to control what her writings earned depended on the state or states where she and her husband lived at the time. Q: I have frequently read what, according to Islamic teachings, a husband may or may not do in a dispute with his wife if he attributes it to disagreement with or misbehavior of his wife. Why Husbands Leave, Part 1: Significance to a woman who wants her husband to know how significant he is to her and tells him every day, but has to stand up to his. This means that a little more than one third of the 62,827,000 women in the United States are getting along without steady male companionship. Aug 01, 2018 · Case in point: How can this woman, whom you refer to as a soul mate and whom you say you love with all your heart, also be using you to get back at her husband and want to have her cake and eat it. So, if you want to find the secret sauce behind how to get your husband back after separation, it's "RESPECT". Leaving Your Spouse Because Of Abuse The following article comes from the book, Beloved Unbeliever, which is written to women with spouses who are unbelievers. If you have irrefutable evidence of the affair, such as text messages or emails from the other woman or credit card statements showing payments for flowers, lingerie or jewelry. she is hot and curvy, she seem to like me but afraid to do anything because of her marriage, she holds herself back How to make her come to me, i have been seducing her for few months. Why Doesn't My Husband Just Leave Since He's Having An Affair By: Katie Lersch: I sometimes hear from wives who have full knowledge of their husband's affair and they do not understand why he is still living with them as a married man. what will you do if you fall in love with married woman?. Let the husband render the debt to his wife, and the wife also in like manner to the husband. Oppressing a woman who has wishfully married her husband, who seeks comfort and tranquility with him, and who expects her husband to share with her problems, is not right. Have you ever asked yourself what those women have that you don't. My daughter divorced her husband in September because he is a drug addict. Position Founder and CEO of TheModernMan. I'd leave my wife for her but can't persuade her to leave the good for nothing slob. " — Ryan, 32. I wanted to leave a week after we were married. It didn’t matter if I was the best woman or friend in the universe; nothing would have worked. Conway and four young children including twins. "Women expect a Prince Charming, while men just want a wife, sex, food and a job," she says. "You actually want to stay married to this guy?" She didn't hesitate a moment. For example, we raised the amount of benefits for surviving and disabled spouses. ~Gloria Steinem [W]hen you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. Dear Woman in a Marriage. As time goes by, the clarity of what happened during our marriage, through our separation and even after our divorce gets better and better. There will be no need for you to get desperate. In order to maintain your maiden name professionally, you'll have to work out an accommodation where they file using your married name while continuing to use your maiden name for everything else. After getting married, the time we spent together each day was very little, but it was peaceful. I don’t love her but it’s the best sex I’ve ever had. Counsing to help her understand why not taking her responibilties seriously will leave her in predicaments she won't be able to get out of. We were friends first and then our friendship got to close and we crossed the line. The more valuable you become for your husband, the less likely he will want to divorce you and the more likely he will return. Clearly remarriage is not a scriptural alternative. Getting Through to a Selfish Husband I am married for 18 years, and I think my husband is terribly selfish and acts like a spoiled child. Leave a love note on the mirror. So you want to know how to make a married woman fall in love with you. Leave her! Tell her you are out of there! Get a divorce, and get your manhood back, and some peace in your heart. Before she gained fame with her HGTV show, Hilary was married to a certain Gordon Farr. Marriage and tradition ― They belong together. Oh yeah if you think that the traditional Chinese woman might be a little submissive or even respectful of their husbands ,remember ," traditional Chinese women don,t leave China or marry foreigners ". Right now I am unemployed and I have been searching for a job now for almost 5 months with no success. The woman he was seeing for those 8 months left him as she was also cheating on her husband and didnt think they would get caught. I know I should stop, but I’ve never felt anything like this before, where she gets my heart racing this bad. To sum it up in one sentence: Married women search an escape from their marriage, period. Trust! He will leave if you are making him a lot happier than his wife. So of course I'm going to look at it. " — Ryan, 32. My question is, my abusive cheating husband left me for another woman 6 years ago, filed for divorce dated the new girlfriend for 4 years then left her for another women that he’s now getting married to. me how to use it when her husband walked in and. If their husband decieded that he did not want any of her children, which was common for girls, he had the right to take the child from his wife and leave it to die. Are rumors of her diva-ish behavior true—or rooted. If you would like to see how easy it really is to date a married woman, then it might be time to make the first move. Occasionally when I don't.